$31

We are going to Florida!  A week from right now we'll hopefully be boarding the plane.  When Dan and I planned this trip, many moons ago we knew it would cost a lot.  There are a lot of us.  It helps that we booked plane tickets (which were free other than the taxes) in September, then booked and paid for our condo also in the fall, not long ago we paid for park passes.  So of course it has cost us money already, but it's kind of spread out so you feel like "it's ok, we'll be fine."  The funny thing is that even though I kind of swallow and think "that sucks" the money for the "big stuff" doesn't seem so bad.  

A friend told me that she thought that strollers were free to borrow at Disney.  I thought "as if" but it gave me a spark of hope so I checked it out.... $31 a day, US, to rent a double stroller.   AGH!  For some reason this bothers me more than just about anything else.  It is $15 for a single.  It just seems crazy doesn' it?  So....we will still be bringing a stroller, and hope that Lilly's legs feel strong!

Satan's Bait

I have a great mom!  She is many of the things that I hope to be.  She is a prayer warrior, an encourager, commited to her husband, (my dad) but most of all she loves God.  We often have morning chats about each of our lives and the struggles and joys of the day.   She will pray for me... not just say she will.... but do it right then.  

Anyway, today as we ended our conversation I told her about a good friend of mine's wise words.... I month or so ago this friend told me about issues in her church, which involved her.... messy... but then she wisely said  "I can either take Satan's Bait or not, I can choose to take the offence, or not.  It's my choice."     

It has really stuck with me, when I am hurt... intentionally or not.  Will I choose to fall into satan's trap, to take the offence is falling into the trap that he has laid out.  As I journey through this life I need to be able to make as many excuses for my "offender" as I make for myself. It's hard for me, my mom often told me as a teen, "you need thicker skin."  It's so easy to read into situations that are difficult and make them even worse, by my assumptions and by taking that offence.  My prayer is to never take the bait. By the way.... my friend, she chose not to take the bait.

Tessa's Birthday

December my oldest turned nine.  The last single digit age.  (smile)  She is quite a grown up little girl, who isn't into toys at all... unless they are electronic.... so presents for her are always a challenge.  Tessa moved into the guest room in September so that Dan and I could use an upstairs bedroom for an office, which is just about the best thing that we have done in this house.  Anyway, the room was not her... it had brown pony walls and "grown up" bedding.  The ceiling was wood boards in their natural state therefore brown, and the whole room was kind of brown.  Not nine year old girl cool by any means and really the only room in our house that we are using that had not got any attention yet.  So Tessa requested a "new room."

Tessa slept in the old play room with all our junk which used to be in my "craft room" for the week and was not allowed in at all.  Dan drew the fun flowers etc. on the wall which he copied from the lamp shade that we picked up at Ikea and I painted them in.  She is very happy with her new room and even has closet doors now instead of a curtain.  It is still our guest room until the basement gets redone, but don't feel bad about booting her out, she's pretty proud of her beautiful room and doesn't really mind. 

Ruthless Trust

I am on the women's ministry leadership team at church.  This month we meet to have the "deeper life" aspect of our meetings.  Of course even though it is on multiple calendars that it is next week, I thought it was last night.  So as I drove the yucky roads and sent Dan and the kids off to AWANA and actually kept Dan from being able to work last night, I thought on "Ruthless Trust," the book by Brennan Manning we are reading.  

It is such a strange, yet wondeful feeling to get that I don't "get God."  That the control that I feel when life is good is fickle and not true.  Chapter 5 Thinking Big  Pg. 63-64  "The same judgement is passed on the illusion of control.  When life is tranquil, relationships intact, finances secure, and physical health flourishing; when the enemy is not at the gate; when the war drums are not rattling; when the Calvin Klein perfume advertisement for Eternity for Men seems plausible- then a sense of complacency, self-sufficiency and personal command of one's destiny deludes and lulls us.  Pg 65  However, a fleeting, incomplete glimpse of God's back-the obscure yet real, penatrating and transforming experience of his incomparable glory-awakens a dormant trust.  Something is affot in the universe; Somone filled with transcendent brightness, wisdom, ingenuity, and power and goodness is about.  In the face of over-whelming evidence to the contrary, somewhere deep down a Voice whispers, "All is well, and all will be well."  

"All is well, and all will be well."  

Tools of a Happy Marriage?

I love living in the country.  I actually grew up in a small town and loved it too and still miss aspects of it.  Three Hills was a lovely little bubble.  It was very safe, and my parents were quite relaxed, so as kids we felt like we had the run of the town.  In elementary school, even early elementry I would walk to and from whatever I needed to go to.  I'd ride my bike to the out door pool and swim by myself, or walk to the ice rinks to skate.  Can you imagine that now?  I'd go play at the Prairie dump/railroad tracks, which wasn't for actual garbage, just the big stuff, old cars, fridges, very fun stuff really.  We would stop at the Pop Shop for candy then play and imagine the day away.  I very rarely remember getting in trouble for being gone too long.  Now that I'm a mom I can only imagine.... how amazing to be able to give your kids that kind of freedom.  

Ok back to living in the country... love it!  Can't imagine being anywhere else, however the snow on roads sucks in the winter.  Yesterday I needed to take Eli to the doctor, I knew the roads were bad so I even left early, which is amazing for me, and good thing I did as I got "stuck" in the driveway. Ok not so stuck that I didn't eventually get out, but defiately delayed.  Grrr..... So do the doctor thing, groceries etc.  Drive home to unload kids and groceries and I can't even get up the driveway.  I love my husband dearly, and learned from my mother not to be the yelling angry sort of person, and it's a great thing.  Anyway, I was a little angry and a little yelly.  No he wasn't there, but 2 of his kids were.  Thankfully when I call him DANIEL the little ones don't really know who I'm talking about.... "who's that?" they said.

Yes I got out, 5 hours later, after hiking my groceries in a few trips back and forth to the house.  I'm sure the neighbors enjoyed driving by and chuckling and yes, Dan knew I was miffed at him.  His fault?  Not really, he's a very busy guy and though he might have squeezed it in the night before he informed me later that because freezing rain had been predicted he didn't want a full skating rink for a driveway either.  

Apologies went all around and the neighbor lady next door assures me I just need snow tires now.... perhaps one of the tools of a happy marriage?

No More Diapers!

Yesterday I moved the change table which has been a well used, much needed piece of furniture out of the bedroom.  Wow!  How can I be done with it "already".  I just heard Eli, my last, my baby, flush the toilet and run out of the bathroom.  Such a relief, but I also get a little lump in my throat, thinking about the fact that again, a chapter is ending in my life.  

Of course I didn't like 2 year old poopy diapers, but those new borns... I really didn't mind.  They needed me, and I loved them.  Will I miss poop smell lingering in my house... No!  But thank you God for the chance to have loved and cared for 4 babies, until they could do things for themselves.

Excited and Scared!

These days as Dan draws closer and closer to resigning from the "safe, secure, good paying" oil and gas field, I feel excited and oh so scared!  I feel frustrated that it has taken this long, the process began last June. I am excited to rely on God in a totally new way, since Dan and I got married he has always come home with a pay cheque.  Two or three a month.  We have had lovely bonuses, and he has done very well.  He was "promoted" up to Foreman a month or two ago even though they know he is planning on leaving.  They have asked him "what would it take for you to stay?"  To leave all that is scary!

But how do I tell my husband who has only cared and provided for me and our kids to not take a chance, to not step out with God, to not do what he LOVES.  It only took him 15 years to figure out what he wanted to do when he grew up.  I'm excited and I'm scared! 

One of the craziest things is that I feel embarassed sometimes that it hasn't happened yet.  People know that we have this plan so they ask, "how's it going" "when's D-day" it all feels like it should be done faster.  But, being in the financial world, what kind of a example would Dan be setting if he just up and left before he had reached his goals?  It just makes sense, then how crazy would it have been if he had quit shortly before Christmas when he was getting almost 2 weeks off.  Then how crazy to quit before we go on a holiday for 10 days at the end of the month.

I will choose to trust God!  For Him to do the work in Dan and in I that only He is able to do.  I can hardly believe that we are coming to the close of yet another chapter in our lives.  Again, I am excited and I am scared!

Happy New Year!

A new year! I always have to reminise about the past when I am blessed enough to be given a new year once again.  Time is such a funny thing and so many have talked about it before me, but yet I still can't help thinking that time is my biggest challenge in life and also one of my best friends. 

It takes me away from my dear old friends who I don't talk to nearly often enough, robs me of my newborn babies and adds those new lines that appear out of no where.  Time... ugh! But, it lets me enjoy chats with my oldest... she's nine!  Do you remember 9?  I sure do, and I love hearing her thoughts and opinions. She really is smart, especially about the things that matter, which makes my mother's heart sing!  Time lets me already have had 11 1/2 years of marriage to the same great man I began to love at the tender age of 15.  Time is so sweet.... 

Every New Year also reminds me of an old friend who battled with cancer starting in the 3rd grade and was finally released from pain and suffering New Years Eve my grade 9 year.  My classmates and I gathered to pray and "cry in the New Year"  It is still one of my most memorable ones.  I still often think of him, he was such an amazing example of child who rests in God.  I think of his parents, now that I am one, and wonder how they still must miss him although he's been gone almost 20 years I can only imagine the ache they still must feel.  

My goal for this New Year is pretty much the same as it is every New Year.... to embrace time- and all the things that come with that.  Live in today!  Enjoy my marriage that continues on from this point of 11 and a half years.  To enjoy my kids growing up, and to spend time with friends and family... as much as I can.  To remember that time is a gift, and really no one cares about the lines on my face, other than me.  (smile) Thank goodness!